For those of you who weren’t able to make it to the marriage conference with Paul David Tripp, here are some of my notes from the conference:
-Most of our life is spent in the utterly mundane, not in the “big moments.” The character of a marriage is set in 10,000 little moments, not 3 or 4 big moments
-Marriage is a flawed person living with a flawed person, but with a faithful God
-A marriage of unity, understanding, and love is not rooted in romance, but in worship.
-Your words and behavior are more formed by what’s inside of you, than by what’s outside of you (Luke 6:43-45)
-Heart = causal core of your personhood
-There is nothing that comes out of the mouth of a drunk, that was not already in the heart in the first place
-I am my biggest marriage problem
-All marriage problems are heart problems
-It is hard to keep what is truly important important in your life this side of eternity (Romans 1:25)
-DNA of sin=selfishness
-I was created for something bigger than me. Sin makes me want to be in the center of my universe, the place for God and God alone.
-Sin in its fundamental form is antisocial–>sin pulls me in, keeps me from being directed towards others
-As long as there is sin still inside of me, I’m carrying around something that is destructive to relationships
-Many marriages are built on self-love; true righteousness only begins when you quit living for yourself
-Marriage, this side of heaven, is a war between two kingdoms (kingdom of self vs kingdom of God) (Matthew 6:19-33)
-Good relationships are good because the people in them have prioritized them
-Husbands, you don’t NEED a wife who respects you and follows your lead. This is a blessing, but you cannot set this up as a demand. We are all too skilled at turning blessings into demands. (there was a similar example given to wives with regards to “needing” a husband who loves her)
-The minute you name something as a need you are entitled to it, you can demand it, you define God’s faithfulness by if it’s provided
-When God’s love is not the ruling force in your life, the love of self will ALWAYS be
-Relationships are not first fixed horizontally (between you and your spouse), they are fixed vertically (between you and God)
-Love=willing self sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving (1 John 4:7-11)
-Love does its best work when others are undeserving
-True love is not best born out of duty, true love is best born out of gratitude
-What happens outside of the marriage bed will shape what happens inside the marriage bed
Nate
Nate, thanks for posting these points. I’ve started reading a couple of Paul David Tripps books (purchased while he was here a couple weeks ago) and this theme permeates all of his ministry. They are basic truths, yet profound. Even though we didn’t make it to the conference, I feel as though I was through his writings.
Mark